What no one wants to talk about - probably because they forgot since Spectre, the movie where they mostly explain all this, is so bad - is that Madeleine and James Bond have a family history. © 2021 Danjaq, LLC and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. Madeleine Swann and James Bond, played by Léa Seydoux and Daniel Craig, who were born in 19, respectively (and respectfully). (She’s 36 in real life Daniel Craig is 53, so this meets and exceeds the 15-year-age difference that the tombstone indicates is required by the franchise.) Next we see this woman, Madeleine Swann, played by Léa Seydoux, snuggle against James Bond in the sports car on the way back to the hotel, seeking comfort like the frightened child of her recollections.

For what it’s worth I think Daniel Craig is one of the hottest men in the world, and the best James Bond - he can get as old as he wants and I will only want him more. He’s after her dad, who killed his whole family, and the scene proceeds with increasing drama until an adult version of this girl pops her head up through the azure waters of the Mediterranean and we realize that this terrified child is now a hot, terrified adult having a traumatic flashback, something which is also noted with concern by James Bond standing smolderingly on the water’s edge.

No Time to Die opens with a taut and visually stunning scene where a young girl (maybe around 9) is pursued by a maniacal assassin in a horrible mask. No one tells you how haunted the new James Bond movie is with daddy issues. But it is objectively hilarious that Vesper Lynd was 23 and they put it on her literal mausoleum, case closed.) (Whenever people protest online about big age differences they get grief from a lot of different stakeholders. The real Eva Green was 26 to Daniel Craig’s 38 at the time Casino Royale was made, and so whoever carved this gravestone lopped off three years purely to commemorate the fact that 23 is a hotter age than 26. The dates carved in stone reveal she was 23 years old when she died. Lynd, played by Eva Green, made a spectacular appearance in Casino Royale, only to betray Bond, drown, and leave him with emotional baggage to be carried for several more movies. The first time I cackled during the new James Bond movie was very early on when it shows us Daniel Craig as James Bond standing somberly at the grave of his old lover, Vesper Lynd. There are some spoilers here but ask yourself if it matters.

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